Dear Mean Girl,

Dear Mean Girl,

Enjoy your moment in the spotlight. I mean it.  Embrace it.  Revel in the power you have over other people now, because supplicants won’t always do your bidding.  I’ve seen your lizard-skinned mother, your puffy father, your spoiled sister.  This research yields certainty: That eighth grade is as good as your life is ever going to get.  So drink up.  It’s all, literally, downhill from here.

Very sincerely,

Mean Mom

P.S. Enjoy your shotgun marriage to the guy who failed the bar four times and had to go work for your dad.


  1. Nice post. Now go write some more!

  2. Robin (Casey) Gorsuch says:

    I believe that you are the mom of a 8th grade girl who is dealing with some nasty girls. As a mom previously in those shoes I am familiar with the signs..The sad thing is 8th grade is just the beginning. It’s a whole new world out there. Good luck.

  3. Just wait until the 15th high school reunion! The head cheerleader at my school, who in 9th grade couldn’t be bothered to help pull me from the gym floor during the Friday night basketball game at which I tore my hamstring, looked like a slut and said she’d always admired me. Ha! Really. There you go.

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