Dear Best Selling Author of Erotica,

I am tired, very tired, of everyone on earth telling me how poorly written your books are.

Let me offer a few pointers.

1) Focus on physical details.  How about:  “Blood speckled her pillows, giving them a kind of delicate, polka-dot-from-hell pattern.”

2) End each chapter with a hook.  Example:  “She thought the worst was over.  And then she saw the tail of the bullwhip peeking between his legs.”

3) Rewrite your ending.  Everyone hates it.  Consider crafting one that actually brings women pleasure and satisfaction.   Oh, wait, righhhhht . . . .

Very sincerely,

The Literary Author

P.S. Please stop laughing on your way to the bank.  It’s very untoward, and we can all hear you.

 

 

 

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s